Mayor of the Pond People

 

Written Monday, August 17, 2009

The residents of snob hill are lucky enough to have their very own mayor. Mayor Gordon is the snob of all snobs atop snob hill and even has a “right hand man” or vice mayor if you will. I suppose the vice mayor would take over for Mayor Gordon in an absence or in case of a sudden death? It’s unclear to us pond people as to how Mayor Gordon actually became the mayor of snob hill. Was this a self proclamation that everyone on snob hill just went along with? Was there an actual democratic election on snob hill and Mayor Gordon was the victor and was allowed to choose his vice mayor? Maybe he really isn’t the mayor at all and was just given this title as a nickname by us pond people? I suppose the world will never really know.

I could tell you most all the reasons that Mayor Gordon is called the mayor but this post would end up being too long so I will give just a few examples. Every three weeks, ALL members MUST move their RV from whatever site they are occupying and move it at least ten sites away. This is to ensure that every member gets a fair opportunity at all the sites available at the resort. Mayor Gordon, the vice mayor and a couple of other “select” snobs that are friends with Mayor Gordon seem to be immune from this rule. We pond people call that special treatment so the resort employees must acknowledge his mayor title. If we don’t move our RV’s, we hear about it and are requested to move. If a pond person asks why some people are immune from this rule, you always get a different bullshit answer different from the last every time.

Mayor Gordon has a lot of clout not only with snob hillers but also with the resort itself. If Mayor Gordon doesn’t like you, you will know it. Mayor Gordon will bitch about your every move to the resort employees until you either don’t want to camp there anymore or they ask you to leave and not return. If he doesn’t like your golf cart for whatever reason, you will inevitably be asked to take it off the resort property. I have seen it with my very own eyes. I could seriously go on another ten pages but will spare you the reading.

Last night some of us pond people gathered at Billy’s camper next door to me to sit around the campfire and chit chat. I was tired last night and went to bed early for a change. The next morning I woke up, made some coffee and headed back to Billy’s as I do every morning. Billy and Tommy were having some coffee and chit chatting when I arrived. When they saw me, they started grinning from ear to ear and Billy spoke up and said “morning mayor”. Tommy piped in and said “yeah, morning mayor”. “Mayor” I said. “What the hell are you guys talking about” I asked. “We took a little vote last night after you went to bed and because of your little stunt this weekend,we elected you mayor of the pond people” Billy informed me. “We liked the way you got us all together with the greatest of ease, you obviously have a lot of clout with us pond people and we need a mayor like they have on snob hill” Billy stated. “Who better to represent us than you” Billy asked. I started shaking my head and laughing out loud while taking a seat in my favorite camp chair. “You guys crack me up” I said. After I stopped laughing, I reluctantly accepted the position. Billy and Tommy let all of the pond people know that they now have an official mayor. Nobody seemed to mind me being mayor as far as I know anyway. I appointed Billy as my vice mayor in case I need to be absent or in the case of my (god forbid) sudden death.

I must admit, it feels pretty cool to have people wave and call me mayor when I’m walking my dogs or at the pool. I think Paula secretly likes to be called “Mrs. Mayor” as well. Word of the pond people having a mayor has already reached snob hill and Mayor Gordon has gone out of his way to chit chat with me. Who knows, maybe Mayor Gordon and I can take a nice long golf cart ride sometime and work out some of our issues?

The pond people have spoken!