It is the first question anyone asks upon meeting a new baby for the first time, “who does he/she look like?” Pre-Maddie, I never really could ascertain which parent a baby looked like- I was always slightly embarrassed and would have to take a shot in the dark. Lets face it- which ever “side” you go with, someone is going to be disappointed. Nine months of anticipation and you want that kid to look like you!
I think having Maddie gave me the ability to see parents in their children. Most recently, the birth of 3 of my friends’ children left me with such obvious pronouncements (2 like the father, 1 like the mother). Looking at the child, you see the “essence” almost of the dominant parent for a flicker of a moment.. and then it all passes and the baby is just…well.. a baby; a new, sweet, sentient being that just sort of showed up here as if from an alien planet- all big eyed and able to rapture adults with their mysterious powers!
I remember reading in a book somewhere- maybe a novel- that babies know “all” at birth- the very essence and mystery of life. I’d like to believe that- those first 3-4 days post-birth when Maddie was in the NICU, there wa sa knowing in her eyes; almost a spooky, supernatural intelligence.
Now almost 3, that spookiness is all gone. Friends and strangers still say how much Madeline resembles me.. and of course that makes me proud. But, the older she gets the less I can see of myself in her. Not because I am not there- of course I am, and her Daddy too.. but because her personality is taking over. She is asserting herself and the adult that is one day to be is taking shape right behind those almost 3-year-old eyes. It’s truly a marvel to watch.
Soon another little being will be here- taking its rightful place in this family and in the world, as if always here (and maybe he/she has always been here – always with us, but just now willed into existence by love and wanting so strong, it pulled the being from the heavens and into existence)… I wonder who he/she will resemble, whose genetics will win out this time? Either way (John or I) I can’t wait!!
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