I’m amazed at the things my children teach me about myself.
Hannah has started noticing when Nick and I don’t do a very good job with certain things. The other day I was in a hurry to get everyone out the door, and just had Hannah and Audrey put their crocs on with no socks, in spite of the fresh snow. When we arrived, Hannah had to walk through the snow and got her feet wet and cold. It wasn’t that cold out – the snow was all melting away, but good job, mommy. What I wasn’t prepared for, was her pointing it out! She just about made me cry, telling me I should have carried her or helped her put on socks! I apologized and eventually that was good enough for her, but…wow…I have some accountability at this point…
Tessa has started smiling and cooing at me all the time. She has brought me so much joy! I’ll just be doing something else, holding her in my lap, and it’s like she suddenly realizes I’m there, and proceeds to have a full conversation with me, whether I’m paying attention or not. She also gazes at me, right in the eye, and doesn’t look away. This is something my other two did not do! I find myself looking away out of discomfort while she just lovingly stares and admires her mommy. Where does my discomfort come from? Why do I get impatient so quickly? I don’t typically have difficulty looking people in the eye, but the purity of her attention and adoration overwhelms me sometimes.
Pay attention, they say to me without realizing it. Pay attention and don’t miss THIS moment. Be fully here with us. Don’t get so caught in the task to be accomplished that you miss the people who are most important. It took me forever to make peace with staying at home with my kids, but now that I have…I can’t imagine anything more fulfilling!
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