I’m sorry. I am so sorry. There are just not enough words to describe what I am feeling at this very moment, about what I have done to myself, as well as what I have done to our family.
Our family is the most important thing in my life. It has come to my attention recently that I have been failing miserably at taking great care of all of you. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to, to make sure you were happy, healthy – all the good stuff in life. Trying to teach our daughters numbers, letters, manners, how to drink out of a sippy cup, how to throw things away, get dressed, etc.
You quit your job as a chef, and now sell food, so you can have more time at home with all of us. I have been in charge of our menus for the past few years, and failing miserably at anything consistent. My attempts at anything long-term in the way of meal planning have gone south rather quickly. Chaos has lived here for a while now, and is at one with our family most days! I call it “organized chaos”, since I’m pretty aware, still, of where things are, and the day still is functional. But it doesn’t all get done the way I’d like.
Our sweet Abby has had issues since she was little – some physical, some emotional (we will call them what they are: TANTRUMS). I have long suspected that what she is eating and drinking, may be playing a huge part in her troubles. It was somewhat confirmed when I eliminated milk from her diet, and her poop issue cleared up within a week. She also has less tummy bloat. Rylee seems to be exhibiting some of the same things, and I have a feeling she is needing an overhaul as well. Of course I have done so much research on their issues, and done one or two suggestions at a time, but nothing seems to be working long-term. I have come to the realization that we are in need of a lifestyle change. All of us. You and I have our own physical issues as well, and I really do feel in my heart, that they are diet related. So, with more research and understanding (but no medical degree, darn it!), I will be implementing a major change in the coming weeks and months. Since we haven’t actually talked it over before I write this, I’m not sure if you will be participating. But I believe that it will be beneficial for all of us, and I hope you join in and will want to understand for yourself, why this is so important on so many levels.
Getting Clear With The GAPS Diet
My research has led me to the GAPS diet (Gut and Psychology Syndrome). Basically it’s about FOOD and MOOD. There are several studies and testimonials to confirm what I already know – we are killing ourselves with what we currently call food. I can no longer go on living the way I have, and certainly not for the sake of our family. You all deserve better. WE all deserve better. It is my belief that my own emotional issues will be cleared up by making this change in diet. I also believe we should not have to suffer through the “terrible two’s” with either child, and that the GAPS diet will help them as well. Our society has led us to believe that kids need drugs for their out of line behavior and mental issues, when what we really need to do is take a good look at what is going into their little bodies, and what is fueling these episodes. It’s not always about control, and whining. Their bodies are responding to what they are ingesting. The same with adults! Think about all the crap we put in our bodies on a daily basis. A car would not drive with Coke in the tank, so why put that in my body?
I’m not saying this change will be easy. But it is right, and no one can tell me different. This process will take a lot of effort on my part, and I really hope you join me, honey. I could use the help and support!
My dear husband, my angel babies, I promise to do my best to make this change as easy as possible, and I also promise that while we are on this journey to living a better lifestyle, my attitude will change for the better! Who likes to be upset and tired all the time? You guys don’t like it when Mommy is moody, so I will do what I can to change that.
All I want to do is take care of my family. I love you all so much. Please accept my apology for my failures up until now (and for mistakes I make in the future). Let’s get healthy!
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