What a great weekend. I got to celebrate my wonderful husbands birthday, enjoy amazing spring weather, work in our yard, hang out with mom-in-law, eat lots of yummy food, hang out with fun neighbors, take photos of one of the cutest little boys ever, enjoy worship with my church family,… and did I say celebrate my husbands birthday?
Here’s some pics from my shoot this weekend. Oh my goodness, could this little guy be any cuter?!?! I was so excited to get to take his pics. He is 3 yrs. old, and such a natural in front of the camera! I couldn’t believe how easy he was to take pictures of. He was such a sweet boy, I just wanted to take him home with me!
Leslie, it was such a joy to meet you and Lois! You guys were so much fun! Your little man is an amazing model!!
I’ve been through some dark times, days when I wondered if God had forgotten I existed or had simply decided to punish me for my many sins. I have faced depression and anxiety, rejection, loneliness, fear, hatred, being over-looked and discarded, and other negative emotions and experiences. I have also faced days when I thought the world was crashing in because I couldn’t meet a deadline or my laundry wasn’t done when I wanted to wear that special shirt. None of you have ever done that, right?
One day several years ago, I got frustrated over an assignment that couldn’t be completed without the input of colleagues who were not cooperating. After work I called a friend to complain. She listened to me for about 60 seconds and then told me to turn on the news. In stunned silence, I watched the end of a report on foster parents who had just been arrested for sexually abusing the children in their “Christian” home. When the report ended, my friend quietly told me that she was the social worker who had trained those foster parents and placed the children in their care. She was responsible for overseeing them. She had no idea of the abuse taking place. There were no signs. She was devastated. Can you imagine?
I’ll never forget her words to me: “This is a bad day.”
That situation taught me a lot about perspective.
During one of my darker days, I longingly remembered some good days I’d had. I had good friends and an active social life, a good job with relative calm, and there were no major problems shaking my world. But as I looked back I realized that I had not fully enjoyed nor appreciated those days. I had allowed worry over things like losing 20 pounds or not having enough money to get a facial to steal my joy.
That day I made a commitment to appreciate the good days. Using the perspective I had learned, I’d put aside temporary struggles and be thankful for the day I had been given. I would learn to declare good days GOOD. So these days I often stop in the middle of a day to evaluate how things are going. There is such joy in recognizing the good days when they come. I declare the day GOOD, thank God for it, and try to be fully present in each moment. Rather than missing the joy of that moment because I’m fretting over something I won’t remember in two weeks, I soak it in and use all five of my senses to enjoy it.
March, 2010 - In front of cabin at Carmel Retreat Center
Last week I spent the night at a spiritual retreat center. Alone in a little cabin on 225 acres in the country, I could be as loud or quiet as I wanted to be. The weather was perfect and I had nowhere else to be. It was just me and God, and He gave me a peaceful spirit. I explored creeks and woods, sat by a fire, read some good books, wrote in my journal, and prayed. I sat in the sun on my flagstone porch and listened to the sounds of nature all around me. I disciplined myself not to dwell on my problems, but to enjoy the moment. After leaving there, I got to hang out with many good friends in a relaxed, casual atmosphere full of celebration. I came home happy, tired, and satisfied.
It was A GOOD DAY.
How long has it been since you had a good day?
My "Hermitage" at the Carmel Center for Spirituality
This adorable family was the lucky winner of my facebook contest I had a while back. They had quite a drive to get here, so little A. wasn’t too excited to be taking pictures, but just take a look at that gorgeous face and you’ll see why it wasn’t hard to get some beautiful shots of him anyway!
It’s great when children read about subjects that really interest them. Their knowledge and vocabulary expand. Kids start to read eagerly when they see their parents reading eagerly. So sit down and enjoy doing that together!
Here’s an activity to try:
1) Plan a family time when you make independent reading important (when each person reads something they choose on their own).
A weekend evening may work well, or try it on a slow summer day, after a holiday meal, on a rainy day, or when someone’s recovering from the flu and you want to keep things a little quiet.
2) Invite family members to bring what they want to read to the same room and get comfortable.
They might bring a magazine, a comic book, a novel, a newspaper, a technical manual, a cookbook, an atlas, a non-fiction work, a book about animals, a hobby manual, or anything else appropriate. Turn off the TV or radio.
3) Let everyone know that you’ll be spending at least half-an-hour together in the room, with each person quietly reading what interests them. If you have a child who is too young to read, let them look at a picture book.
4) After the quiet reading time, invite each person to talk about what they read, saying whatever they want to say. And if someone gets stuck or doesn’t know what to say, you can ask:
What’s something that you learned?
What did you notice?
What was the best thing about what you read?
5) You may want to serve a snack after the reading time.
Family Reading Hour supports the English-Language Arts Content Standards related to reading comprehension, literary response, and delivery of oral communication.
Esther Jantzen, Ed.D, is a mother, an educator and the author of Plus It! How to Easily Turn Everyday Activities into Learning Adventures for Kids available at www.plusitbook.com and the Way to Go! Family Learning Journal available through www.jantzenbooks.com
Playsam, a Scandinavian design company based in Sweden, has a charming range of toy cars crafted from wood with great finesse. The designs challenge the existing products in this category.
They say, “The aim is to engage those individuals who welcome a visual challenge, demand superb quality and crave intellectual creativity — in short, lovers of executive Scandinavian design. And during over twenty years of business, doing exactly this by inspiring individuals all around the world with artistic aesthetics and ageless designs.”
About eight years ago, I was shooting portraits in Louisburg, KS and had a conversation with an older woman who told me that she had twin granddaughters who lived in Chicago, but flew into Kansas City to have their senior portraits done by a studio called Antisdels. She also told me how much they spent on senior portraits and as I recall, she said it was somewhere in the ballpark of a couple thousand dollars. I was in disbelief. I couldn’t believe someone would come that far for senior portraits and secondly that someone would pay that much for them. That was until I saw their work and have now come to realize who they are.
Antisdel’s Photography, located in Louisburg, KS, a suburb of Kansas City, is a portrait studio that specializes in children and senior portraits. They are also founders of Senior Portrait Artists, or SPA as they are more commonly known, an organization dedicated to art and business of senior portraits.
Antisdel’s photography to me is really what senior portraits and children / family portraits are supposed to be all about. They are bright, colorful, youthful, vibrant, fresh, new, contemporary, stylish, cutting edge, emotive and the list could certainly go on and on and on. If you haven’t heard of Antisdel’s, I highly suggest checking their work out and also checking out SPA. It will be well worth your time!
It’s time for Easter Portraits. This year we will be at Tammy’s Baby Shoppe on Main St. in Manteca. Get your children in their cute Easter outfits and bring them into Tammy’s Baby Shoppe on Sat. March 20th, from 10 am – 2 pm. No Appointment Necessary!
I have been wanting to add a cute little bunny rabbit to my list of BB blankets in my ETSY shop. I’ve had the pattern done for awhile, but it always got pushed to back burner. Finally just in time for Easter, I finished my first one, soon to be followed by a second one in yellow.
Made with the ever popular MINKY fabric, this little bunny will look adorable Sunday morning in your child’s Easter basket. The front of the Rabbit is an adorable cotton print, little bunnies hiding behind tulips and Easter eggs. I’ve embroidered Easter across the little bunny’s ear and tied a cute carrot/bunny themed ribbon around it’s neck.
We seem to have more issues with everyone else’s life than we do our own. Whether it involves someone we know, or don’t know, or know remotely, or wish we knew, or glad we don’t, or somewhere in between all these (it would make a very complicated Venn diagram); we want to talk and gossip and dissect whatever we know, have heard or can speculate on.
I think this is a major waste of brain power. Especially where this ability is already severely lacking in some people. You already only have a few brain cells, yet you want to waste it on other people’s lives. How about dealing with your own first? Also do you think those you want to inspect so closely really care enough about you or your life?
The main point of this rant is the prescribed life cycle of Pakistani females which primarily involves getting married and procreating. The involvement of opinion of female in question is actually not required at all. It is actually everyone else’s perception of her and what she ought to be doing which is most important. Said female may be very happy doing whatever she is in fact doing. Whether it is studying, working or even just simply enjoying whatever point she is in her life. But oh no, she obviously does not know what she needs.
Age 18 – 21 (for a single female)
“So are you still single?”
“So beta what do you do?” inquisitive questions from Aunty jees with ‘marriageable’ age sons, or Aunties who will do their best to hook you up with ‘marriageable’ age males whether you like it or not. Age 21 – 25 (if female is still not married)
“Are you still single beta?”
“Abhi tak shaadi nahi hui…” said sadly by Aunty jees who may or may not know female in question but are of course entitled to believe that it must indeed be a sad and horrible existence to be leading without a man featuring in it.
Age 21 – 25 (if female is married without offspring)
“Bacha kab ho ga?”
“Bacha jab ho ga na…” *dreamy expression* (Probably since they have forgotten what actually happens to new parents when a kid is born). All knowing Aunty jees know what’s best for a woman and her uterus. (Said to all 21 – 25 aged females they know; which is probably countless. Thus adding to the already explosive population growth. What’s one more right?)
Age 25 – 30 (if female has one child)
“So when’s the next one coming along?” *wink* *nudge*
Oh gee I don’t know really. Wanna keep track of period cycles?
Barely a year (if you’re lucky), after child number one is born, everyone is hungry for child number two. After all no family is complete with just one child. If your first is a girl, then you must have a boy to make the family ‘complete’ and vice versa. Not entirely sure how this works but maybe they have a magical way of deciding what the gender of the next potential child will be.
Age 30 (if still with only one child)
*Sad expression* “There must be some problem.” (Whispered). After all what woman in her right mind would only want to have one child? After all what more is there to life than to produce offspring? And look after them forever and ever until you are dead or close to it?
Age 21 – 30 (if still single)
Well you don’t want to hear what’s being said. You are a waste of space. You are a non-entity until attached to a male.
What I want to know is this; why does everyone from your closest family (who you might allow to question/nag/inquire about your lifestyle/choices) to the remotest stranger who you meet once every two years want to know why you are either not married or have only one child or only have two children (“teen tu honay chahiyay na”).
Why?
Do you not have enough going on in your own lives? Do you want to forget about your own miserable existence by transferring that misery onto other people who may not be miserable in the first place? Or perhaps you want to see people suffer as you have suffered by being forced into making choices that you didn’t want to make either?
Maybe I am happy with where I am. Maybe I am not. Maybe I want more. Maybe I don’t. But either way, its really got nothing to do with you, or with what you think, or with where you think my life should be, or what schedule I ought to be working on.
I have 4 words for these people. NOYB.
None of Your Business.
Feel free to add an F in between the Y and the B if you like.
I’m sorry. I am so sorry. There are just not enough words to describe what I am feeling at this very moment, about what I have done to myself, as well as what I have done to our family.
Our family is the most important thing in my life. It has come to my attention recently that I have been failing miserably at taking great care of all of you. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to, to make sure you were happy, healthy – all the good stuff in life. Trying to teach our daughters numbers, letters, manners, how to drink out of a sippy cup, how to throw things away, get dressed, etc.
You quit your job as a chef, and now sell food, so you can have more time at home with all of us. I have been in charge of our menus for the past few years, and failing miserably at anything consistent. My attempts at anything long-term in the way of meal planning have gone south rather quickly. Chaos has lived here for a while now, and is at one with our family most days! I call it “organized chaos”, since I’m pretty aware, still, of where things are, and the day still is functional. But it doesn’t all get done the way I’d like.
Our sweet Abby has had issues since she was little – some physical, some emotional (we will call them what they are: TANTRUMS). I have long suspected that what she is eating and drinking, may be playing a huge part in her troubles. It was somewhat confirmed when I eliminated milk from her diet, and her poop issue cleared up within a week. She also has less tummy bloat. Rylee seems to be exhibiting some of the same things, and I have a feeling she is needing an overhaul as well. Of course I have done so much research on their issues, and done one or two suggestions at a time, but nothing seems to be working long-term. I have come to the realization that we are in need of a lifestyle change. All of us. You and I have our own physical issues as well, and I really do feel in my heart, that they are diet related. So, with more research and understanding (but no medical degree, darn it!), I will be implementing a major change in the coming weeks and months. Since we haven’t actually talked it over before I write this, I’m not sure if you will be participating. But I believe that it will be beneficial for all of us, and I hope you join in and will want to understand for yourself, why this is so important on so many levels.
Getting Clear With The GAPS Diet
My research has led me to the GAPS diet (Gut and Psychology Syndrome). Basically it’s about FOOD and MOOD. There are several studies and testimonials to confirm what I already know – we are killing ourselves with what we currently call food. I can no longer go on living the way I have, and certainly not for the sake of our family. You all deserve better. WE all deserve better. It is my belief that my own emotional issues will be cleared up by making this change in diet. I also believe we should not have to suffer through the “terrible two’s” with either child, and that the GAPS diet will help them as well. Our society has led us to believe that kids need drugs for their out of line behavior and mental issues, when what we really need to do is take a good look at what is going into their little bodies, and what is fueling these episodes. It’s not always about control, and whining. Their bodies are responding to what they are ingesting. The same with adults! Think about all the crap we put in our bodies on a daily basis. A car would not drive with Coke in the tank, so why put that in my body?
I’m not saying this change will be easy. But it is right, and no one can tell me different. This process will take a lot of effort on my part, and I really hope you join me, honey. I could use the help and support!
My dear husband, my angel babies, I promise to do my best to make this change as easy as possible, and I also promise that while we are on this journey to living a better lifestyle, my attitude will change for the better! Who likes to be upset and tired all the time? You guys don’t like it when Mommy is moody, so I will do what I can to change that.
All I want to do is take care of my family. I love you all so much. Please accept my apology for my failures up until now (and for mistakes I make in the future). Let’s get healthy!
To address the reasons for my long-standing abstinence from blogging would be to attempt to define the universe while riding on a broken bicycle, scrambling eggs in one hand, and sending emails with the other.
If that doesn’t make sense to you, trust me, it doesn’t to me either.
Let’s carry on as usual, then:
A friend and I had an interesting conversation earlier today about pessimism and optimism.
If there’s anything I’ve discovered recently about myself, it is that I cannot stand pessimism. I truly take it as a personal offense. I’m not sure why that is. Is it because I’m egotistical? Is it because I hate facing reality? Is it because human hope rides on a fragile train and pessimism is a brute de-railer?
In that regard, my friend tried to comfort me by telling me that pessimism and optimism are actually genetic traits, and that I really shouldn’t take it so personally when George, our microbial ecology group member, tells me that he thinks it’s a bad idea to meet up in the lobby of the library. Or that it’s a bad idea to have everyone in the group draw our organisms and submit them to the Phylomon Project. No, I maintained, I could never survive with a person who was pessimistic. Why?
“Because I’m overtly non-pessimistic.”
“Don’t you mean optimistic?”
“But I’m not optimistic. I just have a bunch of crazy ideas. I’m just -”
“You’re ambitious.”
After my friend had pronounced his diagnosis of my chronic mental state (ambitious), he then put his head in his hands and said, “Sometimes, I have so many ideas that it overwhelms me, too.”
What? “But you’re not even ambitious!” I laughed.
“I am, though. I have many ideas. I just don’t act on them like you do. I’m a lazy dreamer.”
Immediately, I thought: how many dreams did you waste?
But are dreams the same as ambitions? Do we dream as children and then have ambitions as adults? What becomes of our childhood dreams?
I think having ambitions mirrors our human desire to be constantly moving forward – most often in a well-planned, concerted – and sometimes calculated – way. Dreams, though, are different. Dreams are innocent. Dreams have no inherent direction attached to them. They are fundamental. A dream is simply the expression of possibility.
I recently watched – and thoroughly enjoyed – a Tedx Talk by Sir Ken Robinson entitled, “The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything”. I thought his conclusion, based off of a passage from Yeats, was beautiful. In it, he presented the image of children and young people laying their dreams beneath our feet – and that, as such, we must tread softly.
I am a dreamer. I’ve been a dreamer since grade school. (Looking back, I am certain that it was because I was encouraged to read and write.) And the truth is, is that I never stopped dreaming. Maybe that’s why I can’t stand pessimists. I can’t stand to have my dreams trod on. I don’t like to question possibility – I like to culture it.
HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)
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P.S. Another part of the reason I’ve been holding off from blogging for so long is also because I’ve been having a lot of dreams lately. About this blog. About what I don’t want it to turn into. About what I’m afraid it is. About what I want it to be. Evolution is already on my mind, but I’ll have to bide my time until these academic chains free up a little. Until then…please let me know you are there by saying hello!
One of the best benefits my children have derived from homeschooling is the blessing of a long childhood. They don’t know it, but I do. They’re not too sophisticated for the simple things, imaginative play, and children younger than themselves. I love seeing this in their lives. The transition to youth activites has gone very smoothly and happened at the naturally appropriate time of life–around 12-13 years old. I think that having enough time with them early on has made me more comfortable and confident with this new stage in their lives. I didn’t expect this side-benefit of homeschooling, but I’ll take it!
The press has been devoted to proverbially kicking Angelina in her perfect white teeth almost from the moment she hooked up with perennial pretty boy Brad. Not out of any personal animosity, I assumed, but because it made a nice script. Hapless ‘can’t-hold-a-man’ Aniston with her tame blonde hair and tight smile versus ex-druggy-lesbian-vamp brunette bombshell Ang whose lips pout unspeakable things. Convenient means of reinforcing jaded stereotypes while endless reprinting photos of beautiful women. Newsstand gold.
Things have taken a turn for the much-nastier in the last couple of years though. There was always an undercurrent of hostility for Angelina. She is too outre to be truly welcomed to the Puritanical bosom of middle-America. The press grudgingly played nice while she was safely pregnant and hanging dutifully on Brad’s arm all the time, but at the first whiff of imperfection it unleashed the hounds.
Striking, but not surprising, is that the carping is entirely anti-Ang. Brad is emphatically cast as the victim (much as Jen was in the initial go-round). “Brad’s Misery” shouts the cover of a recent Us Weekly. Inside, half a dozen pages are devoted to hand-wringing about a potential break-up with Angelina firmly cast in the Queen Bitch role.
“She’s a perfectionist and a control freak. She screams and badgers him about everything,” a ’source’ alleges. Her reputed nastiness extends to disagreeing with him about politics and wanting to “watch what the kids eat”. Cruel harridan that she is, Ang even “disapproves of Pitt’s penchant for spending money on art and architecture”. Que horror – “helping the poor is her biggest priority”.
I can’t help but applaud that final comment. It takes serious editorial chutzpahto cast helping the poor as a BAD THING. But standing obediently by your man is the ultimate feminine public service.
The upshot of this is that Brad is “increasingly [miserable]” — a construction which is as bizarre as it is fascinating. Brad is not a child. He is an exceedingly rich, powerful, famous, talented, grown-up 46-year-old man (12 years Angelina’s senior). Isn’t it a little insulting make him into a victim? I think so, but I don’t write for the tabloids. Angelina, on the other hand, gets almost no sympathy. There is mention that she is “exhausted and … overwhelmed” but that comment is immediately followed by “despite the stress, Jolie still wants more kids”. In other words, don’t feel sorry for her, she brought it on herself.
Even if every word of the tittle-tattle is true, which is far from certain, the construction of the story is plain vicious. If Angelina really is a tearful, screaming, controlling hellcat why isn’t the press asking about her unhappiness? Why does she get null points for being a working mother-of-six while the tabs lick Brad’s boots every time he takes the kids out for a burger?
It’s the script. Now that Angelina is no longer protected by the first flush of romance, the media has thrown its lot in with Team Aniston, cramming pages with unsubtle speculation about the golden exes possible golden future. In this particular fairytale Prince Charming was wooed away from his true love by a curvaceous wicked witch. Now with her ‘true nature’ revealed he longs for nothing more than to fly back to the chaste arms of his gold-tressed princess.
Today my friends Aline & Wes, who you may remember from my last post, welcomed their first baby into the world…Josephine Grace. Josie wasn’t due until the 16th of this month but I guess she decided to give her mother a break since she endured 9 very rough months of pregnancy. As if coming 12 days early wasn’t a nice enough gift to her mother, she also decided to make it a quick and easy labor. Even though I missed the actual birth (by only 8 minutes!), I am still happy I was able to grab a couple of shots of Aline and Wes enjoying the first few moments of parenthood. Congratulations Aline and Wes and best of luck to you all as you start this new and exciting chapter in your lives.
Playsam, a Scandinavian design company based in Sweden, has a charming range of toy cars crafted from wood with great finesse. The designs challenge the existing products in this category.
