I got the call the other day. I knew it would come. What do I say? How do I respond? Truthfully didn’t expect it this soon. Not sure if it is a good sign or a bad sign.
I have made a mental note to call my dear friend who lost her mother at the beginning of the year everyday. Most days they are quick calls, most times it is “I am dealing, thanks for calling”. This week they have been a little longer. This past weekend was the first weekend she faced it. Her boyfriend was not there for the weekend, I was not there, the family was there. The entire family was there…except..
They decided to go through some things at the house. A day that was going to have to happen sooner or later. It was just a dent into her stuff from what she said. But the dent brought on the anger, hurt, pain and deep sorrow. She cried to me, she cried to her boyfriend, and i am sure she cried to herself that night. She said she just wanted to pick up the phone and discuss her thoughts and feelings with her mom. That is who she worked things out with. Her mom was her sounding board for all the things in life that didn’t make sense.
What do I say? This does not make sense! We can only trust that God knows what HE is doing and HE is in control. We know that God is sovereign. We have been taught sovereignty from an early age. We have seen it in other people’s lives and circumstances. But when it is your own situation it is ALOT harder to see His sovereignty.
So when I hung up with her that night, I knew we were on the onset of the hard stuff. The stuff that really sucks. The stuff that makes us question our Almighty Maker. The stuff that if we are not careful Satan will use against us. At the same time, the stuff that needs to be dealt with and expressed..not bottled in. The stuff that hurts. The stuff that NO ONE can give you an answer to.
Got the second call tonight. She was in her parents home alone. Doing some laundry. Doing some random things around the house for her dad while he was away. Then it hit her. It’s been almost a month since she spoke to her mom. She has never gone this long without seeing or talking to her mom. We both have special relationships with our mothers. In college, I think that was one of the things that helped our friendship develop. We both looked to our moms but were still independent of them. Tonight’s call I actually expected sooner. In college, every finals time she would make herself sick. It was her thing! I expected her to be sick already, impressed that she hadn’t been thus far. Then tonight happened.
Again, what do I say? I can’t hug her. I can listen, but what do you do when there is silence and tears on the other end of the call? Oh Lord, give me the words to say and the patience to listen to the tears. There are more to come..sooo much more to come!
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