The most recent distribution for CASP beneficiaries in the Javakhk region was held last month. An interesting feature of the Javakhk region distribution is that it happens during the harvesting season, when many of the beneficiaries are quite busy cultivating potatoes. Therefore, the children and their families are available to receive their CASP stipends only after the workday is complete.
Father Tatev with CASP Beneficiaries
of the Soorp Khatch Church
Credit: FAR Staff
Vicar Father Babken Salbian from the Javakhk church, Father Armash, Father Tatev and CASP’s Javakhk Program contact Lusine Muradyan were responsible for the 99 cash stipends distributed to the CASP beneficiaries. FAR thanks these individuals, as well as our generous donors, for their ongoing support.
Father Babgen and Father Armash with CASP Beneficiaries
As you can tell by my last post, my gift-giving ability was not in top shape on Black Friday. Fortunately for me – and really lucky for the fam! – I found inspiration in the Cyber Monday Deals on Amazon.
I opted to buy board games for most of the 13 members of my shopping list. I like themes. I think that by narrowing it down to a specific category rather than being overwhelmed by every possible thing that I could get people, I was able to really focus on what people would like within that genre. So the games took care of the kids and then for the adult women, I am making a goody basket around the theme of cookies. I got a 3 tier cooling rack for $10, cookie scoops for free, and a special baking sheet for $12, then I am going to buy a package of cookie mix and throw it all together. I figure that it would be the best bang for my 25 buck(s). And for the men, I bought sporty outdoor stuff. They’re not too picky, so I’m not either. It is definitely a relief to have it all done. Now, I just have to wait for them to arrive and buy some wrapping paper at Target.
While I was doing my browsing, I came across a few great gifts that would be perfect for someone…just not anyone on my particular list.
Here are a couple of my favorites:
I know that there are many fans of The Office and I count myself among them. I think that this would be a hilarious and fun gift for a fan. Unfortunately, none of my family members even watch the show, and I guess this isn’t the kind of thing that I would buy for myself. But if I find out that someone I know gets it for Christmas, I will be over to play it with them in a hot second.
I also found this really neat (and I suppose nerdy) item while searching for kids’ toys. It’s called Moon in my Room, and you hang it on the wall of the child’s bedroom and it will go through all of the moon’s phases.
There is also Rainbow in my Room which is probably what I would have chosen as a child.
Something that I did end up buying that is so very, very cool is something called IlluStory. My 5 year old cousin loves books and drawing, like most kids do, so this is a really great gift someone like her. The way it works is the child will write a story and illustrate it, then they send it to the company who will then produce a hard cover book of the story. There is even an About the Author page where you can put the child’s picture. I would have loved something like that when I was her age. Actually, I think it would be pretty fun nowadays, too!
I am also in love with all of the Alex Toys. I can’t wait to have my own kids and buy them all of those adorable toys!
Switching gears from happy children’s stuff to the most disturbing item I found: Terrorist Target Practice. I would NOT recommend buying these for anyone. Yikes.
They come in a 25 pack, and I guess look like that.
On that darker note, I will end this post. I am just so happy and relieved to have my Christmas shopping done. And it wasn’t so bad after all. Yay! I am back to being the benevolent, selfless giver that I know that I am!!
The past fortnight has found me in a suitably strange little place. Uncharacteristically, I have on the one hand felt very laid-back, comfortable in the knowledge that I’m well on schedule with all my projects (even taking into account the unexpected stay in hospital and its aftermath) and quite content to “potter” with bits and pieces of editorial work. On the other hand, however, I’ve started to feel that old, familiar twitchiness — the restless need to get back to my writing.
Briefly, a few days ago, I managed to convince myself that, you know, Christmas is almost upon us and, frankly, well, returning to As Morning Shows the Day (my half-finished work in progress) this side of New Year would be pretty silly, wouldn’t it?
And maybe it would… I don’t know… but, the way things are going, I’ll probably be writing again during December. Just can’t help myself, guvna.
Getting my final draft of Children of the Resolution off to Legend last week kind of underscored my need to return to my work. Still not completely back to full health but needing something to do, I’d worked through the manuscript steadily and methodically, falling back into that other world I had in part created. The autobiographical aspect of Children resonated even more, given my recent illness (you’ll see what I mean when you read it), and even as I found it cautionary I yearned to get back to shaping my characters and fictional vistas. And so, once this project was delivered, I returned to As Morning Shows the Day — merely reading through it at this stage, listening to the voice, familiarising myself with it.
Yes, I still occasionally manage to convince myself that this is merely my way of preparing for starting back on it in January… but I’m fooling no one, least of all myself.
In other news, the electronic version (for Kindle, Sony Reader etc) of If I Never is now available here. Pretty excited about this. I’m not a huge fan of electronic books but I know a growing number of people are — and having seen the finished product, I’m beginning to understand why! Looks great… but don’t take my word for it, check it out for yourself! (Free readers are also available for PCs.)
A sample chapter of If I Never can be read here.
To buy your copy of If I Never, please click here.
This is one of my favorite potrait shots of Kessler and it was taken by Rachel. All colours are in alignment to the warm coloured tone. Then green goes really well and added some contrast to the overall picture. Well, the orange background is the colour of my feature wall and the green is the high chair.
While Dave Mallinak approaches the third rail of fundamentalist politics, I will seek my own source of theological voltage, what has been called the “qualifications of the pastor,” as found in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1. I’m going to focus on only one little phrase in the Titus 1 listing as found in verse six—”having faithful children.” If we are going to guard the truth of God’s Word and our churches, then we better have an understanding of what are these characteristics of pastors and whether they are required in order for a man to have, fulfill, and then continue in this office. I’m afraid that often men approach the traits outlined in the pastoral epistles with too many personal situations or hypotheticals in view. Instead, we should understand these qualities and then conform our practice to them, rather than adapting them to something that will preserve our own job or someone else’s. The two chapters are bigger than any one man or group of men.
Qualification or Disqualification or Both?
Before we think about what “having faithful children” means, I want to consider some points about these pastoral character traits in general. In conversations I have had with others, I have heard this type of statement about these two lists: “They are qualifications, not disqualifications.” In other words, we might agree that men should fulfill these traits in order to be appointed to the office of the pastor, but once a man is into the office, he can’t be removed based upon a characteristic violation of one or more of these attributes. I’ve never seen them that way, but maybe you agree.
1 Timothy 3:2 reads—”A bishop then must be. . . .”—after which are the characteristics listed. Titus 1:6 begins, “If any be. . . .” In both cases, we have present tense forms of the being verb, communicating continuous action. The verbs do not refer to a point in time, but an ongoing activity. Someone in that office must continue to live according to these descriptions. Even before “faithful children” in v. 6, we see “having,” which is a present active participle, again expressing continuous action. These traits must remain the lifestyle of the man in the office.
Someone might argue that both passages are talking about the commencement of a man in the office. 1 Timothy 3 describes him as desiring the office and Titus 1 as being ordained and appointed to the office. In other words, some might say that these are attributes that need only be fulfilled when a man first starts as a pastor. The present tense verbs do not lend themselves toward that view, that these are only qualifications, but not disqualifications. A few more items, I believe, work against this idea to reveal it to be false.
The works of the man of God are produced by the gospel. Gospel produced works (Eph 2:8-10) will not stop being performed. Whatever is happening in the life of a believer will persevere, but it is God who conforms the believer into the image of His Son (Rom 8:29). God will continue to cause the characteristic works of a Christian until his day of redemption (Philip 1:6).
We also know that a pastor can disqualify himself by his actions. Paul certainly wasn’t speaking about losing his salvation in 1 Corinthians 9:27, when he talked about being a “castaway.” In the various usages of the Greek word translated “castaway” (adokimos), we see it to saying “disqualified.” He was motivated to keep his body under subjection by the threat of disqualification from some type of Christian ministry. I believe that 1 Timothy 5:19-20 lays out the procedure that should be followed in bringing disqualifying types of accusations against a pastor.
Besides two Scriptural arguments, I believe some God-given common sense comes in play here. We understand by reading the qualifications that they were for the purpose of keeping the testimony of God and His church, to set apart the church as a unique institution on earth, unlike merely natural organizations. “Blameless” as a characteristic relates to reputation. It isn’t saying, “sinless.” That’s not possible. It is “blameless,” because when there is enough violation to ruin the reputation of the pastor, he can’t be one and should be disqualified using the ordained process in 1 Timothy 5. After he is removed, then no man should lay hands upon him suddenly (1 Tim 5:22). He could prove himself again to fulfill the qualifications if he has not permanently disqualified himself. Some of the traits in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 seem to be permanent.
Who Are Faithful Children?
The word “faithful” (pistos) always refers to believers, saved people, in the New Testament. It is never an unconverted person. It couldn’t be referring to some kind of well-behaved, disciplined unbelieving child. Certainly it can be used of someone who is loyal or trustworthy as a saved person, but it is always a believer and always someone who is faithful with the truth. The word is actually a simple one that in its essence means “believing,” the opposite of which is “unbelieving.”
How “faithful” is used in Titus 1:6 is how it is used in Ephesians 1:1, “Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, to the saints which are at Ephesus, and to the faithful in Christ Jesus,” and Colossians 1:2, “To the saints and faithful brethren in Christ which are at Colosse.” The faithful servant of Matthew 24 and Luke 12, the good and faithful servant of Matthew 25 and Luke 19, the faithful person of Luke 16, the faithful mother of Timothy (Acts 16:1), the faithful stewards of 1 Corinthians 4, faithful Timothy (1 Cor 4:17), the faithful ministers of Colossians 1:7 and 4:7, faithful Onesimus (Col 4:9), faithful Moses (Heb 3:5), faithful Silvanus (1 Pet 5:12), and faithful Antipas (Rev 2) were all believers. To take “faithful” out of the believing context, isolate it as if it only meant submissive to the father’s leadership without believing what the father taught, would be to distort the word.
The Greek word for “children” (tekna) refers to offspring, not necessarily young. BDAG says that it is “an offspring of human parents” or “descendants.” The word doesn’t mean children in the home. There are words that do mean that, and they could have been used by Paul in Titus, but they weren’t. If Paul wanted to talk about little children he could have used teknion. If he wanted to talk about babies he could have used brephos, that means infants. It’s not an issue of the age of his children, but that his children believe without dissipation or rebellion, whatever age they are in life.
1 Timothy 3:4 requires that children of a pastor be in submission and that looks like it refers to kids that are still at home. A pastor’s children must operate under the direction of their parents. They can’t function in rebellion against their pastor parent. Children of a pastor as a lifestyle must be obedient to him. Titus 1:6 brings more information to the parenting of the pastor by including that his children must show that they have been obedient by showing their faithfulness to his preaching of the gospel.
The Problems Some Have
Some do not like the idea of having the qualifications of the pastor sort of dependent on other people. In other words, another person, the pastor’s child, could put him out of his office. Some of this relates to belief about salvation itself. Calvinists, for instance, would see a pastor as not having any ability to ensure that his child will receive Christ. A child’s salvation in many Calvinists’ view is up to the foreordination and predetermination of God regardless of what a pastor does in the way of parenting. It seems to give trouble to the Calvinist outlook, giving too much to the influence of the leadership of the pastor on his children. They seem to see a pastor as helpless as to whether his children will be converted or not. He must wait to see if his children were elect before the foundations of the world.
However, this idea that the conversion of one’s children is so much out of one’s control clashes with so many scriptural texts that relate to human influence on the salvation of sinners. Matthew 5:16 teaches that you can live a kind of life that results in people glorifying God. As a consequence of the lifestyle of the first church in Jerusalem, according to Acts 2:41-47, the Lord added to the number that were being saved. In Romans 11:14, Paul writes that his desire in preaching to the Gentiles was somehow to move to jealousy his fellow countrymen to be saved, so that what he did would have a direct impact on the salvation of others. In 1 Corinthians 9, Paul said he would become as weak to save the weak, a clear implication that the way he dealt with people would directly relate with whether men would be saved. Then at the end of chapter 10, he didn’t want to give an offense to a Jew or Grecian, so that his life would lead people to salvation. In Philippians 2:15 Paul speaks of being above reproach as a light in a wicked world so that in the day of Christ he could find out that he got some salvation impact out of his life. He says in 1 Timothy 4:12-16 that Timothy’s conduct would ensure salvation to some of those that heard him. Peter says the same kind of thing in 1 Peter 2:11, when he says that good behavior among unbelieving pagans would result in their glorifying God in the day of judgment. He instructs women with unsaved husbands in 1 Peter 3:1-2 that their husbands could be won by their own chaste conduct.
We also have texts such as these that apply directly to the parent-child relationship and salvation. In 1 Corinthians 7:12-14, Paul says that one Christian parent could sanctify a home to the degree that the children would become no longer unclean but holy. Paul intimates that a woman doing proper child training could offset the harmful stigma of the curse on women (1 Tim 2:15). This is exactly what we see was done by Lois and Eunice with Timothy (2 Tim 1:5) with the holy scriptures they taught him as a child (2 Tim 3:15).
Scripture does not teach a fatalistic approach to child rearing without proper consideration of the impact of a godly life or the responsibility for evangelism. Salvation comes to people through the faithful witness and godly example of other believers. All through Scripture we are continually taught that a godly life leads people to salvation. Election is the issue with God and the issue by which we give Him glory but it is not some explanation to embrace as an explanation for why a pastor’s child didn’t receive Christ.
I don’t apologize for viewing Proverbs 22:6 as a promise to parents:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
If he departs from it, what is our conclusion? The parents didn’t train up the child in the way he should go. I’m not saying that every son will be a pastor or missionary. The qualification is “faithful.” A pastor must have children who are saved. I would expect his children to show the behavior fitting of conversion. If they don’t, he should not be in that office.
What About When They’re Young?
“Are you saying if your children aren’t old enough to be saved you can’t pastor?” No. When they’re young, they’re under control and they are being taught to be faithful to the Word of God. They are guided by a faithful pastor to be faithful themselves to what he is faithful to. And some day that blooms into saving faith. The church ought to be able to look at that man’s life and see that process taking place, see those little children affirming, believing as much as their simple hearts can believe, progressing toward a saving faith. When it comes to the point that they’re old enough to believe, they are to be faithful to the truth they have been taught.
In many ways, this becomes an inane game played by those who want to discredit the qualification. I believe this is why the word “faithful” is used, however. The children don’t have to be converted. They must be faithful to the truth until they end in where everyone does who is faithful to God’s Word—conversion.
So What If a Pastor’s Child Doesn’t Receive Christ?
If the pastor must have faithful children in order to be a pastor, then his children must receive Christ. They must give evidence they are headed that direction until they actually do believe in Jesus for salvation. A pastor who has a child who rebels against that teaching should not continue in the office. He has been disqualified because he has not ruled his house well. His children did not submit to what he taught. If they had, then they would have received Christ.
That time of year is creeping up, too quickly for many I’m sure, lol.
I started thinking of the things we used to do as kids, leading up to and for Christmas. Some, we didn’t even realize till our later years that they were ‘traditions’. Our traditions.
Do you remember some of your traditions? What are they?
Have you continued them with your family?
Have you created new ones?
Have you lost your traditions? If so, why do you think that is?
Some traditions bring back many great memories for people. What are some of your favourite memories? I’d love to hear about them!
Part two of Michelle’s testimony of why they ditched contraception. This part includes more of their actual discovery of the Church teaching, the wonders of fertility, the horror of abortifacients, and the joy of desiring children.
What I think will resonate deeply with readers is the anger of never receiving this information, of being lied to by the medical community, and of never being invited to the beauty of the Church’s teaching–all too common of an experience.
I was angry because I found out that contraceptives had abortifacient properties. I was angry that those in the medical community had morphed the definition of the beginning of pregnancy to be when the embryo implanted, thereby negating the life that exists from conception. And I was angry that no one (save our priest during our pre-marriage counseling) had ever offered to us that NFP was a viable alternative. Our families, our friends, fellow Catholics…no one stepped forward and made us think about looking into Natural Family Planning. As a matter of fact…that anger still rises on occasion, because we do not have the support of some people close to us and we are looked down on…like we must simply not know any better…and we see disappointment in loved ones’ faces as we announce the pending arrival of another blessing.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” — United States Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776
According to a recent study, uninsured children seem to have an increased risk of dying.
The study, published in the October 29, 2009 Journal of Public Health, was conducted by researchers at John Hopkins Children’s Center and included more than 23 million hospital records from 37 states between 1988 and 2005. Researchers claim it is one of the largest studies to examine the impact of health insurance on preventable deaths of children in the United States.
The study compared death rates by underlying disease and found that, other factors being equal, a child in the hospital without health insurance was 60% more likely to die than a child with insurance. According to the Centers for Disease Control, 6.6 million children are without health insurance.
Any child on a playground will tell you that life isn’t fair, but whether a child lives or dies should not be determined by the size of his parents’ bank account or ability to purchase health insurance. Forgive me for being trite, but our children are our future. Sick and dying children cannot play, learn, and grow into the great leaders and workers we as a country need them to be.
Congress is still at it. They are still arguing over health-care reform and finances. I empathize. Health-care reform is a complicated issue involving more than just insurance. I understand that the well-meaning members of Congress are working on correcting a system that has been ailing for a long time. But it’s time to stop arguing and grand-standing and writing legislation that is so long-winded it would require the entire session of Congress just to read it. It is time to cure the health care system.
It’s time to get back to the simple truth. We built this country on the belief that “…all men are created equal.” We have fought in schools, in courtrooms, and on battlefields at home and abroad for that belief. Until all Americans have equal access to health care, there is no equality.
Children’s books have very confusing messages about animals. Farm animals are perhaps pictured in the most problematic way—shown in pairs (usually mother and child) or as small nuclear families, living in peace on a spacious farm. It would never occur to the average child that a cow in a picture book is the same animal as the hamburger s/he ate for dinner. Nor would most children be able to comprehend the actual “farms” most chickens live on if all they ever learned of a chicken came from a storybook.
These stories create a confusing terrain for children: they are told that animals are lovable and live much like humans, at the same time they are fed animals to eat and taken to zoos and circuses where animals are used as entertainment. It is easy for a child not to question such contradictions since their books and movies allow them to a believe that animals are happy in their service to humans. Children are not taken seriously enough to be told the truth about the lives of the animals that they eat or watch or wear.
That was until Ruby Roth came on the scene.
When I first heard about Roth’s book, That’s Why We Don’t Eat Animals, my heart skipped a beat. It’s a storybook for children explaining plainly how animals like to live, how they actually live and how we should treat them. I wondered if Roth could actually pull it off. I avoided looking at the book for some time because I assumed disappointment was inevitable. I was wrong.
The illustrations are unique and engaging. The text is beautiful and simple:
Pigs need the sight, sound and touch of one another. Sometimes they snuggle so close that its hard to get them apart.
Love is part of their nature.
(I would have loved to have quoted the last page for you all, which is my favorite passage in the book, but I don’t want to make this post a spoiler!)
Drawings and descriptions of how animals want to live their lives juxtapose drawings and descriptions of how animals on factory farms, in the oceans and the rainforests are actually forced to live their lives. Roth treats the reader with respect, giving frank descriptions that are to-the-point, void of rhetoric and honest. She effortlessly moves through issues like factory farming, pollution and extinction–topics that are even difficult for adults to grasp. It is a simply written and beautifully illustrated book that introduces children to the most basic of facts about animals’ lives and the impact that humans’ decisions can have.
Definitely a must read! You can buy it on Roth’s website.
Oct 16th was World Food Day. On this day “The World Summit on Food Security” convened in Rome and will conclude today, November 18th. Part of a three pronged series of events, these meetings are being held to address the additional burden that the global economic crisis has placed on world hunger.
The Food and Agriculture of the United Nations (FAO) estimates that the number of hungry people worldwide, will pass the 0ne billion mark this year. This means that one sixth of the world is suffering from persistent hunger.
The agenda of these meetings is to provide an action plan on how to boost agricultural productivity. The FAO states:
[The gravity of the current food crisis is the result of 20 years of under-investment in agriculture and neglect of the sector. Directly or indirectly, agriculture provides the livelihood for 70 percent of the world's poor.]
As you can see, global warming is not mentioned. Rather the world’s, and thus our failure, to provide policies, leadership, and economic development is seen as the reason for this current surge of hunger.
At the FAO’s webpage discussing the summit, is a link to sign a petition to end world hunger, HERE.
Ban Ki-moon, the Secretary-General of the United Nations issued a message stressing the need for multilateral commitment, creativity and leadership. On his page HERE, are other links, on how to get involved. There is also a Twitter link.
As it should be, the emphasis of the events is directed toward poor and developing nations. However, you ever had any doubts, the food crisis is a perfect example of how the United States is part of the global community. Take look at the Washington Post Article, HERE.
We continue to think it is acceptable to starve the brains and stunt the growth of a percentage of our children. It is okay to enfeeble and kill off some of our elderly early and we don’t want to deal with the racial inequities that are still inherent in our domestic economic policies. We still think it is ok to tell women they should get married for money rather than addressing the community practices that allow others avoid responsibility for children. We still think we should blame women when their children can’t perform in school.
In the USDA’s, 66 page .pdf report, HERE, The US has categories that define levels of food insecurity. The categories of nourishment are defined as: 1) food secure, meaning enough food at all times for a healthy active lifestyle, 2) food insecure, meaning at least some time during the year there was inadequate food in the house, and 3) very low food security, meaning that the food intake of one or more household members was reduced and their eating patterns were disrupted at times during the year because the household lacked money and other resources for food.
We have been running along at a general population of around 12% food insecure people for years. For children with families it’s been 15%. With the economic “recession”, our percentage of food insecure people is now around 15% and 21% respectively. This figure does not include indigent or homeless people, so the figure is likely to be higher[1]. As might be expected, low-income families are suffering the worst. By category, an astonishing 37.2% of “female head of household” with children are food insecure. However, the “male head of household” category is doing pretty badly as well at 27.6%. The third category of other “household with child”, (grandparents, other relative, etc.) is at 29.2%.
As to race, because Black, and Hispanic groups still have proportionally lower incomes and higher poverty levels, as expected the food insecurity is higher at 14.4% and 17%. Native Americans are apparently counted in the “other” category at 7.8%. Due to the lack of categorization, this is bound to be a highly deceptive figure.
Although President Obama has stated that “the solution begins with job creation” and is planning increases in food stamps and other feeding programs this cannot be the solution to the end of hunger in this country. Evidence suggests first of all, that many people in this predicament have jobs, but wages do not provide enough income. Secondly, corporate “big business” agriculture as is suggested by people like Michael Pollan[2], have streamlined, and influenced the USDA as a way to get rid of excess product, rather than toward nutrition. This results in too much corn, wheat and soybean production, at the expense of a national program employing good standards.
Finally, I want to say that during World War II, the US government mobilized the country to feed it’s self, feed the troops, and set standards for good nutrition as part of the effort to win the war. Our country has been at war for eight years now. There has been no such effort. As Ban Ki-moon says, we need a coordinated approach to fight this crisis, not the latest political maneuver.
[1] If the USDA is not counting homeless people in their report here, via their pantry programs, how will the 2010 Census find and count them? This forebodes a vast under-representation of people in trouble in our country.
[2] Michael Pollan is the author of “ In Defense of Food”, and “The Omnivores Dilemma”.
I’m hiding downstairs to escape Lou. I got up thinking to write a bit before he gets up only to find him asleep on the front room sofa.
It’s difficult to be around him. He takes up so much room. Even when he’s feeling happy and expansive. And I noticed that for the most part Gary was kind of withdrawn and remote which left me as a sort of buffer. I could not bring myself to nod any sort of assent or encouragement to some of the really strange things he was asserting so positively: that Muslims are “the problem”, and the gov’t of the US is too cowardly to call it that. It’s so bizarre to hear someone saying that an entire population of a least a billion people in the world are ‘our enemy’
I just took a diversion to look a bit online at some of the stuff he was asserting: this sort of ‘conspiracy’ first of Muslims to ‘kill us all’, then of Western wussy ‘appeasement’.
It was again one of those very uncomfortable situations where the assertions come fast and furious, based on some assumptions about shared assumptions, and seem to have an internal logic. All this frightening picture of beleaguered westerners and the Muslim hordes waiting to despoil us. From what he was saying, ALL Islam is equivalent to radical fundamentalist nihilistic Islam, and everyone who is Islamic believes literally in the Koran which says to ‘kill infidels’. He reads a lot, but it appears his reading doesn’t include the Koran, or any of the books about the faith—except the ‘they’re trying to kill us’ genre. Not that I’m that knowledgeable about that either—I haven’t read the Koran,
It’s one of these difficulties caused by the ‘ambiguities of the facts’ that “Happiness” talks about. The optical illusion of a cube that can appear to have one orientation, or another. He’s firmly in a world-view that has the ‘facts’ lined up to support it; that view tends to suppress and minimize facts that might alter it’s appearance: like Lou looking at the Batman emblem and seeing teeth. Once I was able to see that view, it took a moment to be able to shift back to see the bat profile. That’s the trouble of trying to take on some of this stuff that he was saying, and people like O’Reilly say, and my dad says.
Anyway, if his world view is true, the ‘logical’ extension of it is that we kill every single Muslim in the world. How’s that for an absurdity.
So it was the awkward position of listening to him say some really weird things that have an internal logic, and the underlying assumptions going by so quick that it was like some sort of traveling medicine show. So I only looked at him silently, without expressing anything at all That was uncomfortable enough. Gary had escaped downstairs to the boys, so I was alone squirming and trying to figure out how to just leave. Ick. I hate to think he thought I was in agreement about that stuff.
Later
Father’s day breakfast, which actually happened kind of haphazardly. I hadn’t really planned on fixing anything because I’d forgotten the significance of the day. So I made a nice breakfast. Gary was strange, though. Just sort of uncommunicative, obstructive in that subtle way by being resistant to small inconsequential requests. Said he was going to go take a shower. I said breakfast was almost ready. He said to ‘start without him’ if the food was ready before he came up. I said, “You want us to start the Father’s Day breakfast without you?” to his credit he did come back upstairs before breakfast was ready. I don’t know what he might have done had it not taken as long as it had to make the breakfast.
He was snippy about plates, which one he gave me when I asked. When I stood with the food on a serving utensil and asked for plates (always a source of some weird friction: he insists on putting the plates on the table, and then has to gather them up to give to me so I can serve.) So he gathered up the plates while I was standing there with the food on the server ready to put on the plate and he walked past me without giving me a plate and then did some other things with them that delayed his giving it to me. Then when he did he gave me a bowl. I asked him to give me the plate underneath and he challenged me on it. Finally I stepped over and got the plate myself. These are the kinds of weird things that he did, little things but still just sort of striking a negative feeling note. It’s as if I’ve insulted him for asking him to give me a plate when I’ve got food on a server. And he was right there. All he had to do was give me one while he was still at the table and before he’d gathered the others. These are the things that I’ve found hard to name, yet a few of these happening within a few hours really sets an unpleasant tone. Things like me telling him to come sit down as we were all sitting to eat and him saying, “I can’t. The bacon’s not done.” He’d given everyone else bacon, so I told him to let it cook, he could have mine if he had to have it right away. These are the things I’m talking about when I say he’s being obstructionist—just little things that make the passage from one moment to the next difficult. It’s nice to be able to articulate it this clearly—usually I just know that I’m all at once feeling sort of bummed, or frustrated, or angry, and it’s happened very quickly. And this was combined with the less than positive effects of the way Gary wouldn’t really respond to his father and would leave for extended periods. {So curious about Lou. He told me over the course of the last few days about friends he has. Many that he’s known since childhood and then lots of others he acquired living in Seattle. He talked about giving them trees, berry vines, fruit trees. I wonder what he’s like when he’s with these people. Does he have a level of ease and comfort that he doesn’t have with us? Does he feel at home with them and not with us? When he talks about things, dinners and stuff with these people I get that feeling that he has real ease and comfort. I can’t imagine that he would describe visits that have the feel of this one the way that he describes these times with his friends.}
Anyway, I’m grateful because Gary took the kids and Riser over to the school to play a bit, and did it at a time when I could finish up cooking for dinner tonight (with Darlene) and come have some of this prized time.
I feel better with part of the dread for the weekend I was feeling going away and the other part will be going away soon. Then there’s just Connor’s birthday party to get through.
I’ve still had a hangover from the unpleasant conversation with Kayla. I suppose there’s a ‘poor me’ element to it. The basic physiological feeling in my body is a weight over and behind my heart, a heaviness that makes my shoulders trend toward slumping, sort of my body curling in around this sensation. Just a continuous pulling downward. So that’s the basic sensation, and when I’m not thinking about it I still feel it and then drift into a sort of mournful state. Experience the feeling in a suffering way. I suppose another way of saying it is the reminder of deep note, a core of seriousness in the way I respond and interact with others. (“deep note” brings to me a flash of my dream from last night. I don’t remember much of it but it seems I might be at Kayla and Paul’s in it. Some flash of being in front of a window, in a house that’s not mine, and supposed to be somewhere. It seems it might be their house and it seems I see Paul at the window that’s at the corner of the kitchen.)
So, the physical sensation becomes a kind of mournfulness, and then I think it may accrete other sorrow sensations…just its presence seems to attract sorrowful emotions to it and stick to it, making a bigger target that other sorrow emotions might be attracted to, with subsequent overlays of emotional experience. So perhaps, all these years what I’ve needed to do is not try to ignore the fundamental feeling because I don’t want to be ‘fanning the flames’, but instead to stay very close to the emotion, notice how it changes in my body, and in it’s manifestation as a feeling. Respect it, I guess. The underlying event needs respect.
So what happened with Kayla was a severe blow to my emotional body, in the same way a twisted ankle might be a severe blow to my ligaments and muscles. There’s a trauma reaction, which is legitimate and requires respect, in both the physical and emotional bodies. And the effects can linger a while and that’s legitimate. I don’t know that I’ve ever considered the emotional body in the equivalency to the {dn) physical body. That response to trauma may be remarkably the same.
So, yes, there is cause to pause and understand I’m not quite up to speed yet as a consequence of that sort of transaction. It was hurtful, and meant to be, though it may have been indulging her anger in the heat of the moment rather than coldly premeditated kind of hurting. It seems that she’d rehearsed in her mind the things she wanted to say.
The way she spoke to me requires a set of assumptions of conditions {dn} {dn} that weren’t the case. For me to say anything about the discrepancy between what Jack tells her and what the teachers/principal are saying (unless they’re telling me one thing and her another, which I suppose is possible but doesn’t seem likely) is reasonable. I’m sure she would be as interested in that fact if it were Jack who was being accused. The fact is that the school has not indicated in any way that they think Scott is an aggressive-behavior problem, and also that they’ve seen nothing to make them think he is hurting Jack. That’s significant. The situation would be a whole different ballgame if I’d been getting calls from teachers all along, or even recently; if I were seeing a pattern of aggressive physical behavior, or a type of deviousness in doing things and deliberately concealing them…if other parents were contacting me about stuff with their kids…if those conditions existed, it would change my stance toward it dramatically, and appropriately. But it doesn’t make sense to me to get draconian with my kid when there is nothing else corroborating what a six year old child is saying. Under these circumstances I think the appropriate action to take is to heighten my awareness, as I’ve done, not leave the boys alone together, and gather more information. It is very possible that Scott is doing what Jack says he’s doing, but there is evidence that is not consistent with that. And again I’m sure if it were Kayla’s son being accused that she would also be cautious if the only evidence is a 6 year old’s when it’s unlikely the kind of aggression he describes would be unwitnessed by people who are on heightened alert in watching these kids. And if her accused child had no prior history throughout the year and no other warning signs that had been noticed before (it seems unlikely that the behaviors that would underlie the aggression would be present only in isolation with Jacob and in no other context.)
Another fact: Scott and Jack are observed to have a reciprocal physical relationship at school. They are also observed to really enjoy each others’ company, but that sometimes it brings out something in them that isn’t necessarily good.
Another fact: Both boys have been observed to be aggressive with another boy, Jacob. And Jacob does not retaliate. Kayla seems to be forgetting this; we were told this in that meeting that she and Paul called.
Another thing I notice is that Kayla is potentially in a glass house. She is behaving as if it’s impossible for her children to ever be in a position of being accused of something. Perhaps they never will. Still, her certainty that that will never happen underlies the righteous tone she’s taken.
Anyway, I don’t really know what she wants from me. I can understand the mother bear that just wants this stopped. She seems to hold me personally responsible, though, as if I were at the school and not stopping Scott from hurting Jack. As if whatever Jack’s telling her is directly my fault.
So I can see that she has no basis for telling me that I’m ‘in denial’ about Scott. For one thing, I didn’t make any defense of Scott as if he couldn’t have done it or that hitting behavior is acceptable: I only tried to say that it’s important information that the school is giving. And I have to consider that too. I don’t know where she got ‘denial’ but it was a really awful thing to say, and said in the heat of anger. I think she was assuming that I was angry with her, and that somehow I was aggressive toward her. Because that was the context that our talk seemed to be in, that we were having a fight and that I was a full participant in that fight.
A couple of years ago, a friend who worked at a day care center asked me for some information on helping parents understand why children bite and what can be done about it. Because these were just notes that I threw together for her, I did not bother to note the websites from which they came. Following the information, is a list of links to websites that provide additional information. Why DO children bite?
EXPLORATION – Infants and toddlers learn by touching, smelling, hearing, and tasting. If you give an infant a toy, one of the first places it goes to is the mouth. Tasting or “mouthing” things is something that all children do. Children this age do not always understand the difference between gnawing on a toy and biting someone.
TEETHING – Children begin teething around the ages of 4 to 7 months. Swelling gums can be tender and can cause a great deal of discomfort. Infants sometimes find relief from this discomfort by chewing on something. Sometimes the object they chomp on is a real person! Children this age do not truly understand the difference between chewing on a person or a toy.
CAUSE AND EFFECT – Around the age of 12 months, infants become interested in finding out what happens when they do something. When they bang a spoon on the table, they discover that it makes a loud sound. When they drop a toy from their crib, they discover that it falls. They may also discover that when they bite someone, they get a loud scream of protest!
ATTENTION - Older toddlers may sometimes bite to get attention. When children are in situations where they are not receiving enough positive attention and daily interaction, they often find a way to make others sit up and take notice. Being ignored is not fun. Biting is a quick way
to become the center of attention – even if it is negative attention.
IMITATION – Older toddlers love to imitate others. Watching others and trying to do what they do is a great way to learn things. Sometimes children see others bite and decide to try it out themselves. When an adult bites a child back in punishment, it generally does not stop the biting but teaches the child that biting is okay.
INDEPENDENCE – Toddlers are trying so hard to be independent. “Mine” and “Me do it” are favorite words. Learning to do things independently, making choices, and needing control over a situation are part of growing up. Biting is a powerful way to control others. If you want a toy or want a playmate to leave you alone or move out of your way, it is a quick way to get what you want.
FRUSTRATION – Young children experience a lot of frustration. Growing up is a real struggle. Drinking from a cup is great; yet nursing or sucking from a bottle is also wonderful. Sometimes it would be nice to remain a baby. Toddlers don’t have good control over their bodies yet. A loving pat sometimes turns into a push. Toddlers cannot talk well. They have trouble asking for things or requesting help. They haven’t learned yet how to play with others. At times, when they can’t find words to express their feelings, they resort to hitting, pushing, or biting.
STRESS – A child’s world can be stressful, too. A lack of daily routine, interesting things to do, or adult interaction are stressful situations for children. Children also experience stressful events like death, divorce, or a move to a new home. Biting is one way to express feelings and relieve tension.
WHAT CAREGIVERS CAN DO
USE THE WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, AND HOW METHOD TO PINPOINT THE PROBLEM. When did the biting occur? Who was involved? Where did it happen? What happened before or after? How was the situation handled?
TRY PREVENTION. If you determine that the biting occurs as the result of exploration or teething, you may want to provide the child with a cloth or teething ring to gnaw on.
If a child seems to bite when tired or hungry, you may want to look at your daily routine to be sure that he is getting enough sleep and nourishment.
If the biting occurs when two children are fighting over a toy telephone, you may want to purchase an extra toy telephone. It does not work to make very young children share. Toddlers don’t have the skills to negotiate or understand another child’s perspective.
If attention seems to be the main reason for biting, try to spend time with the child when she is doing more positive things. Snuggling up and reading a book together or rolling a ball back and forth is so much more fun than receiving a scolding.
If the child is experiencing a stressful family or caregiving situation, you will want to make everyday life as supportive and normal as possible. Predictable meals and bedtimes and extra time with a loving adult can help. Often, experiences like rolling, squishing, and pounding play dough or relaxing and splashing in the bathtub are great ways to relieve tension. In painful situations like divorce, it takes time and patience for healing to occur.
TEACH NEW BEHAVIORS. When a child bites, show the biter with your voice and facial expression that biting is unacceptable. Speak firmly and look directly into the child’s eyes. For example you might say, “No! Sara, it’s not okay to bite. It hurts Jon when you bite him. He’s crying. I won’t let you bite Jon or another child.” If the child is able to talk, you might also say, “You can tell Jon with your words that you need him to move instead of biting him. Say ‘Move, Jon!’”
You may also want the child to help wash, bandage, and comfort the victim. Making her a part of the comforting process is a good way to teach nurturing behavior.
Whenever the child is out of control, you will need to restrain or isolate her until she calms down. Insist on a “time out” or “cooling off period.” Wait a few minutes until things are under control, and then talk to the child about her behavior.
Biting can be an uncomfortable issue for parents. Parents of a child who is bitten are often outraged and angry. Parents of the biter may feel embarrassed and frustrated. Sharing information about the causes of biting and your plans for controlling the situation can help parents to put things into perspective.
Regardless of your feelings about the military and/or war, the people in uniform deserve a prayer, positive thought, moment of silence and/or respect. They are in constant situations that can put them in harms way-even at home. Remember government civilians are in the same boat. There was a civilian killed at Ft. Hood along with those soldiers, just like at the Pentagon on 9/11.
Understand there are hateful people in America, and I’m not talking
about the shooter! I cannot repeat the garbage people wrote on Facebook and Twitter….BUT this is America and the people in uniform are fighting to preserve your right to be free and write garbage if you like!
Remember the families-children who don’t have a mother or father during this coming holiday season. Remember their mental health. Don’t ignore problems. Be thankful it’s not you!
We were laughing, enjoying our conversation and one another’s company.
I don’t remember what was said…only that we had finally reached a point in our relationship where we truly respected and loved each other.
Then, it was time for me to go.
I felt a great wave of sadness wash over me. I started crying and thought about how I had not cried when I dropped her off at college a few weeks before. Somehow, leaving her this time felt different…more permanent.
My sobs poured from deep within me.
With a start, I woke up only to find my face wet with the tears I had just shed while I had slumbered.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized that it was only a dream.
And yet, the entire day, I felt as if I was carrying a weight of somberness because I know that this dream will become reality in a few short months.
This photograph was awarded first place in a News Photographers Association of Canada photo competition for the month of March 2009. (I just found out that my photo won the illustrative category) I thought the picture was great when I took it, but the night editor at the paper I was working for refused to run it saying it was in bad taste. To each their own I guess.
Bryton Slater, 10, lines up the sight of a C-6 general purpose machine gun at the Canadian Armed Forces career fair held at the D.V. Currie Armoury in Moose Jaw.
Used Canon 40D at ISO 500 f2.8 at 1/60 sec – lens 17-50mm
Teddy bear museum / Museo de ositos de peluche / Musée de nounours
Teddy bear museum & shop with about 2500 Teddy bears nearby small city of Hyvinkää in Finland. / Museo & tienda de ositos de peluche con acerca de 2500 ositos de peluche cercana de pequeña ciudadilla de Hyvinkää en Finlandia. / Le musée & boutique de nounours avec à peu près de 2500 ours en peluche proche de petite ville de Hyvinkää dans Finlande.
These two fellows I donated to the museum last year
WHO: The Friends of the Blake Library in Stuart, Inc., in support of Martin County libraries
WHAT: Art Explorations
Ages 6 and older
Happy Birthday, Georgia O’Keeffe!
Celebrate the life and art of Georgia O’Keeffe through stories, music and an art project. Create your own flower project in Ms. O’Keeffe’s unique style!
WHEN: Wednesday, November 18, 4:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.
WHERE: Blake Library, Exploration Lab (2nd floor), 2351 SE Monterey Rd., Stuart
HOW: Presented at no charge. Pre-registration is required. Limited to 25 children. To register, please call (772) 221-1407.
To learn more about the Martin County Library System call (772) 221-1403, pick up a Library Connection at any branch library or visit the library Web site at www.library.martin.fl.us.
I had a blast making tutus for my daughters, Izabelia and Lucrezia. Izabelia went crazy and ran all over the gardens while Lucrezia sat back and luxuried just as a Persian cat would do. As a child, I went as a witch. Back then, I just had a simple black witch’s hat and a simple black dress. Mom had me handing out the candy but I scared the kids away as I screeched at them, giddy over my witchy get-up, and as soon as Mom turned her attentions to chatting up with a neighbor, I was gone into the twilight, armed with a huge empty brown paper sack. I was only three at that time. In an half hour, while Mom went on a frantic search for the MIA witch on the loose on the streets, I came home, grinning widely, lugging behind me a bulging bag full of – gasp!- CANDY!!!!
Since we were new to the area, we absolutely had no idea where we could go trick or treating, so it was off to the gardens for the girls for their Halloween with their pumpkin companions and spooky trees whispering ghost stories . . .
I just simply love to photograph them . . . so enjoy the Halloween pictures of the Z Sisters of the K Gang:
To see more images captured in clients homes please visit my portrait gallery, click here
On Tuesday the 27th October, I travelled to Malton to photograph William, Emily and Thomas. We also got their gorgeous mummy Sarah in a few photographs.
It was a drizzly, grim day outside, but we didn’t let this stop us capturing some fab images inside, using studio backdrops and the rooms as natural settings. The children were brilliant and great fun to photograph. I am sure Thomas is going to be some kind of actor/performer when he’s older! he constantly had me giggling, whilst he danced and jumped around. We captured some beautiful images of Emily, and some more serious grown up images of William.
I only want to show a few images on here, to keep plenty of surprises for the family, for their viewing in a few weeks.
“Thanks Sarah, William, Emily and Thomas for making me so welcome in your home, I hope you like the sneak preview, see you soon.”
Fun with a duvet!
Thomas, Emily & William
Snuggles with Thomas
Pile on William (not my idea.. and sorry William!)
Mummy's boy
Squuueeeeeeeeze
To see more images captured in clients homes please visit my portrait gallery, click here
Life has been hectic with me taking on a two-month subbing gig (yay for me!). Soccer season officially kicked off, and I also attended the football game tonight. As a result, the pictures are few in number. I trust you’ll forgive me. I hope to have some knitting stuff to show you next week.
On to the pictures!
All that's left of my Halloween candy
I paid $.22 per box!!
Samples and a coupon for free shampoo!
I love discovering the coupons that accompany free samples!
I often wonder what the girls discuss during their pre-game huddles. I often pray for them during these times.
Kenya’s Ancentus Akuku aka. ‘Danger’ Married 130 wives and still going strong. ‘Danger’ is from the Luo tribe in Kenya which practices polygamy.
“I’m called Danger because I defeated so many men,” Akuku says. “I was very handsome and so I could get many wives.” “When I passed, people would point at me and call me Danger.”
He has outlived his first wife and many of his children. At 90, the grand old man justifies his long life to a diet of traditional foodstuffs such as dek, osuga, mitoo, apoth (traditional vegetables) and fermented milk that have kept him going. And of course… his many wives.
By the time he was 22, Akuku was already a polygamist. “Little did I know that I would marry many more women later,” he says. He then became an expert at managing a polygamous family.
He has led a very ’successful and productive’ polygamous family. He sired 110 sons and 305 daughters. Of the children 150 are married and also blessed with their own children. He says 35 of his sons have died. Despite his age, Akuku still knows each of his children by name. And which child belongs to which mother.
Despite his having a large family, many people today see him as a role model and are learning from him how to keep stable marriages. He has so many wives and children they need a new building to be able to worship together. The family has built a church for itself.
So not too long ago, I was on the way to a volleyball game. To be honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to it; it was a Monday afternoon, I was absolutely exhausted, and the opposing team was supposed to kill us. The overall day was pretty much summed up as just one of those days. Everyone has those days, the ones where all that’s desired is going home to do nothing, and that being the complete satisfaction of the day. Those days tend to just ddrrraaaaggg on, leaving you with nothing but hope for it too end. So anyway, one of my best friends and I were sitting on the bus, might I add very closely, because we had to fit three teams in there. Yep, three teams of about 14 kids.We were driving along, about 10 minutes away from the school, when our bus slows down for another bus to stop.
“Ughh..” we all shrugged. “Are you kidding me?” The boy behind us shouted. Any second that kept us from getting off the bus felt like a lifetime. We waited about 10 seconds before 4 little kids, all about 3 feet tall, carrying different charactered lunch boxes like spiderman and Hannah Montana, (obviously) , sprinted off the bus to jump into the arms of their moms who had been waiting at the bus stop for what seemed like hours. All the kids faces were lit up and filled with joy. The windows were open and the air rung with little-kid-laughter, and soon faded as the bus slowly drove away. After the moments passed and that whole scene was taken in, my friend and I couldn’t help but turn to each other and just smile. It was the smile of pure innocence and delight. Though it was just a few moments, it was something so precious and so sweet. Not only did the fact of seeing little kids come home from school extremely happy and cheery to run into their moms arms put that smile on my face, but realizing that those type of moments need appreciation. I can remember myself in their position, and to have that over joyful feeling of being a little kid back, would be unreal. The joy of innocence is something so meaningful yet so indescribable, that sometimes the only way to respond to it, is to smile.
Face Down Man Shot in Back 3X By Police in Church Daycare While Kids Present
….Witnesses say that 23-year-old Mark Barmore was exiting a storage area at the House of Grace Daycare under orders from police, with hands raised and without a weapon, when he was shot in the neck on Aug. 24. He fell to the ground and was shot three times in the back at point blank range…
More than two months have passed since Barmore’s death, and John Fitzgerald Lyke, one of the attorneys in the case, said the family still has not been given details. “They treated the witnesses as if they were suspects, trying to force get them to change their stories, That’s altering justice,” said Lyke, a former Cook County prosecutor.
Larry R. Rogers Jr., another attorney on the case, said, “The physical evidence doesn’t lie. Mark Barmore had no weapon, no where to run, and he was in a church daycare center. Yet he has three large-caliber, police-issued bullet wounds in his back.”
“We area all human. We want to make sure each officer feels empowered to use all of his or her moral authority to not use deadly force,” Jealous said. “We had children in the church, at school in the church, and in an instant, they had two of those safe places taken away from them.” … read full article
October 30, 2009 was warm, windy and wet. The rain had stopped so it was a good day for a hike at Cherokee Marsh. We didn’t need mittens or hats and light jackets were fine. We (Elizabeth and I) had 10 kids ranging in age from 5 to 9. Most had never been to the marsh and a few had never hiked. While walking, a five year old Joe asked, “What are we going to do here?” He seemed perplexed after I told him that we’re here to enjoy nature, look for animals, enjoy the leaves falling from the trees. However, as the leader of the pack, Joe became the best animal spotter. One 8 year-old girl was a little scared, so she held my hand. I thought this was telling too. Hiking can be scary to kids, especially on a windy, overcast day, right before Halloween.
I really wasn’t sure what we’d see today. Most birds had already flown south and the winds kept other bird from view. Perhaps we’d leave without seeing something, but that wasn’t the case.
Just off the boardwalk, Joe spotted a snapping turtle hunkered down in a ditch alongside the trail. The turtle was within 3 feet from us and we he saw us, he tried to hide. We backed up to give him some room. In a few minutes, he poked his head up so we all got a good look at his pointed nose and powerful jaw.
“We don’t want to get too close.” I said. Some of the kids were a little afraid, but this lessoned as we watched. We talked about that he was probably getting ready for winter. As we walked away, Joe shouted, “A snake!”
Ronnie screamed as did a few other girls. She started crying. She didn’t even see the snake, but was responding to Joe’s announcement. I told her and all the kids that garter snakes are not poisoness and are very gentle. I’m not sure that they believed me, though if I could have, I would have picked up the snake. Elizabeth shared that she used to capture garter snakes. Quickly, the girls calmed down and we kept walking.
By the time we got back to the van, the kids were ready to go back. At 30 minutes, this was short hike for me, but a long hike for them. I always have to remember this and be sure to let them set the pace. It was time to go.
This is one of my favorite potrait shots of Kessler and it was taken by Rachel. All colours are in alignment to the warm coloured tone. Then green goes really well and added some contrast to the overall picture. Well, the orange background is the colour of my feature wall and the green is the high chair.